Friday, September 16, 2011

How to Be Optimistic:

While being skeptical can be a healthy way to avoid getting taken advantage of, being pessimistic - that is, always assuming the worst - can have major negative consequences on your life. Seeing only the negative aspects of any situation can cause you to miss opportunities, neglect problems that need to be solved, and fail to take action that would otherwise improve your relationships and quality of life. Optimists look for the light at the end the tunnel. If you've always had a pessimistic worldview, it can be difficult to shift your focus, but it is possible to start seeing the glass as half full, not not half empty.


Steps

  1. Let go of the assumption that the world is against you, or that you were born with a gray cloud over your head. It is an assumption that has no basis in reason or science. Sometimes we pick up a flair for pessimism from a parent who made negative assumptions about the world somewhere along the line. Either way, the sooner you can attribute your pessimism to a unique set of circumstances rather than the state of the world itself, the easier it'll be to change your perspective.


     

  2. Understand that the past does not equal the future. Just because you've experienced pain or disappointment in the past does not guarantee that what starts badly will end badly. Do not make a bad start turn into a self fulfilling prophecy for a bad ending.

  3. See yourself as a cause, not an effect. You don't have to be a product or a victim of your circumstances. Stop thinking about what is happening to you and start thinking about what you can make happen. If you're not happy with the way your life is now, set goals and move on. Use your past negative experiences to build character and make better decisions. Life involves taking many risks every day, and not all of them will end positively. That's what defines risk. But the flip side is that some actions will lead to good results, and it's generally better to have a mixed bag than to have nothing at all. Ideally, the good stuff will outweigh the bad, but you'll never reach that point unless you put yourself out there and hope.

    1. "Anything is possible."
    2. "My circumstances do not create me, I create my circumstances."
    3. "The only thing I can control is my attitude towards life."
    4. "I always have a choice."
    5. "I choose to live my positive side of life."

  4. Remember that life is short. When you feel pessimism clouding your judgment or you start to feel down about the future, remind yourself that every minute counts, and any time spent brooding guarantees nothing but less time to enjoy whatever life might have to offer. At its core, pessimism is impractical because it causes you to spend time dwelling on things that haven't happened yet and aren't guaranteed to happen, and it prevents you from getting things done. Pessimism breeds indecision. It's a waste of time, and time is a limited resource that you can't afford to take for granted.

  5. Be a balanced optimist. Nobody's suggesting that you become an oblivious Pollyanna, pretending that nothing bad can or ever will happen. Doing so can lead to poor decisions and invites people to take advantage of you. Instead, be a rational optimist who takes the good with the bad, in hopes of the good ultimately outweighing the bad, and with the understanding that being pessimistic about everything accomplishes nothing. Prepare for the worst but hope for the best - the former makes you sensible, and the latter makes you an optimist.

Tips

  • Use quotes to remind yourself how to be optimistic. Maybe if during a particularly tough day someone mentions some saying that gives you a rare boost of motivation, write it down. Here are a few inspirational sayings:
    • Even the longest journey begins with a single step.

  • Look happy. Studies have shown that putting a positive expression on your face can actually make you feel happier and more optimistic about the future.[1]
  • Practice by conveying these ideas to others. If you hear someone being pessimistic, counsel them based on these steps. Sometimes it's easier to understand a perspective if you explain it to someone else first.

  • No matter how odd this may sound, listen to optimistic music (that you like) and read books that have at least a little optimism in them.
  • Pass a blessing on to a friend or stranger, let somebody have that parking space, let somebody in front of you in line at the market. Doing nice things for others is an instant pick me up.

  • Only you can make the situation better, so smile and make the situation better!
  • Count your blessings, each and every little one. Focusing on the good things in your life, no matter how small or seemingly insignificant, will help frame a better attitude and take your mind off of the negatives.

Warnings

  • Avoid negative people. If you can't avoid them, learn how to not let them get you down.
  • Everyone has their times of weakness. You may stumble at times and go back into bad habits but never give up and gradually you will succeed.
  • Don't confuse pessimism with depression. Depression can make everything look worse than it is.
  • While it is true that you create your own circumstances, accept that the past is the past.
  • Don't let negative circumstances trigger irrational guilt or pessimism.
  • Realize that it's not about what happens to you, it's about how you react to what happens.
  • Avoid cynical/pessimistic entertainment. You are what you watch.

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